Wednesday, 14 March 2018

#WarOnWomen



Speak out, speak up, speak louder
Our numbers multiply
As women we assert our selves
They shan't reclassify
We congregate and raise our voice
Our sex is not a lifestyle choice
In newfound sisterhood rejoice
We unify

Speak out, speak up, speak louder
Our volume magnify
With candour and integrity
and courage we reply
We tear down this hypocrisy
We finish this andocracy
We build a new democracy
Our battle cry

Speak out, speak up, speak louder
Our voices amplify
And let the truth be heard
above the rowdy hue and cry
We will not let a falsehood stand
We will not cede to their demand
This will not go the way they planned
We won't comply



~Irischild

Friday, 9 March 2018

Menstruator, and other words that rhyme with 'hate her'




if you wish to be inclusive
please amend your language usage
'woman' has now been disabled
this is how you shall be labelled:

ovulator, menstruator, gestator, incubator
procreator, lactator, child-curator, care-taker
homemaker, meal-maker, vacuum-cleaner-operator
titillator, conciliator, erotic-roleplay-stimulator

if a woman should resist
any title from this list
please ensure her full compliance
here is how to squash defiance:

moderate, invalidate, ensure that you re-educate her
irritate her, frustrate her, make sure you exasperate her
do berate her, denigrate her, obviously you castigate her
deprecate her, do deflate her, tell her you depreciate her

dominate, humiliate, and certainly manipulate her
subjugate, domesticate, and if you can, you abnegate her
penetrate her, impregnate her, all her life administrate her
regulate, incarcerate, and you shall incapacitate her

violate her, desecrate her, let your actions devastate her
decorate her, mutilate her, crush her and debilitate her
obviate, excoriate, and with your words eviscerate her
decimate, intimidate, until you can subordinate her

designate her, emulate her, mimic her and obfuscate her
appropriate, adulterate, mock and then impersonate her
exterminate, obliterate, and finally annihilate her
disintegrate, evaporate, replace and then eradicate her

just negate her
just negate her
just negate her

hate her


~Irischild













Wednesday, 28 February 2018

My Fair TransLady: alternative lyrics


All I want is a womb somewhere
Far away from the cold night air
And a uterus to spare
Oh, wouldn't it be luvverly?

Lots of ovaries would be a treat
Lots of tubes making things so sweet
Taken from a woman like she was meat
Oh, wouldn't it be luvverly?

Oh, so, luvverly sittin abso-bloomin-lutely still
I would never budge till I
Have ovulatory skill

Someone's head restin' on my knee
She won't need it as much as me
I chopped it off, you see

Oh, wouldn't it be luvverly



Tuesday, 6 February 2018

Votes For Women



one hundred years ago today, some women got the vote,
provoking chaps to double down their efforts to demote
the females of the human race,
the ones who didn't know their place,
the fairer sex want 'fair'? "Disgrace!
We need an antidote"

men racked their brains for years and years as women claimed our rights,
as women found our voices, and our common cause unites
a century of progress passes
when lo, from midst the penised classes
comes forth some sexist silly asses,
dressed in heels and tights

haha! we have a cunning plan to thwart the fairer sex
we'll claim that we have ladybrains; our gender is complex
and since we are now the most oppressed
as you can see, from how we're dressed
the women will find their voice suppressed
and their rights we shall annex!

and though this sounds preposterous, with lots of male assistance
men henceforth were 'women', based on purely their insistence
and women's rights were shared between us
tho', not to the females, who, in extremis
found that they lacked the requisite penis
and faded to non-existence

so heed my words, my daughter, to this cautionary tale
never think you've won the war, for men will still prevail
the moment that you find your voice
the blokes will resent you for your choice
they'll stomp you down and then rejoice
because you are not male

~Irischild







Wednesday, 20 December 2017

and we grow

o, misogyny is just frightful
but you know what's so delightful?
that women are saying 'no.'
and we grow, and we grow, and we grow

we're showing no signs of stoppin'
'cause the penny's really droppin'
we're shaking off every blow
and we grow, and we grow, and we grow

when we finally put this right
how you'll hate that the truth is the norm
but as women take up this fight
sisterhood's keeping us warm

and despite how hard you're tryin'
your dogma's slowly dyin
and since we've no place to go
well, we grow, and we grow, and we grow

Wednesday, 4 October 2017

careful what you wish for




we listened when you told us
that this word was yours to claim
that penis could be female
and we now should share our name
but we all felt that you deserved
the spirit and the letter
of this, the word you want to share
could we do even better?
so we had a little meeting
and there we all decided
that since you like the word so much
its meaning we've elided
we're giving you this little gift
the word that was our own
the label that you most desired
it's yours and yours alone!
make of this gift what you will
the word belongs to you
define it any way you like
as long as it is true
we'll start again with a new word
that won't tread on your toes
we'll make one up that works for us
it won't be what you chose
so you can all be women
and we'll be something new
that speaks to our reality
like woman speaks to you
what's that you say? you need to know
the word that is our choice?
I'd really love to tell you but
I've gone and lost my voice
we hope you're truly happy
with this leveling of the score
wait - are you fecking kidding us?
-you don't want it any more.


Murray Edwards College, Cambridge University





a college of women's seclusion
addressing their female exclusion
from ivory towers
asserted their powers
to fully adopt a delusion

admission criteria were changed
definitions rearranged
and now if you're really
quite womanly feely
you're in - which is frankly deranged

despite women's feminist gains
one idea still persists and constrains
what defines female?
answers by email
to the college for all ladybrains





offer your thoughts to President Dame Barbara Stocking on what it means to be female, or the need for female only spaces in education, to:
president
@murrayedwards.cam.ac.uk. 



http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/2017/10/03/murray-edwards-decision-accept-transgender-students-threatens/